Bass Clincher In Battle Of The Milton’s

It was a close run thing in the ‘Battle of the Milton’s” but, ultimately, it was the Bass wot won it!

(Saturday night in the Swan)

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Martin’s home village of Milton in Cambridgeshire…

(I’ve borrowed some of RM’s pictures, it’s the price for finishing second)

…goes head to head with my nearest ‘pubbed village’ of Milton in Derbyshire  to establish the best Milton in Britain.

(signage at The Swan)

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To be honest, I could just put a pint of Bass here…

(First sightings post lockdown)

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…and then stop the post and put it out to a public vote.

(another RM photo)


The north American market is probably the swing state I need to secure so here is unequivocal proof that Milton in Derbyshire rules the roost.

Firstly, despite Milton in Cambridgeshire being famous for ‘the Milton pong,’ due to it’s proximity to a sewage works and recycling plant, it doesn’t sell Bass.

(Burton’s finest)

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Despite the fact it has four pubs and a growing population of almost 5,000, it doesn’t sell Bass.  Mind you, Martin’s recent post on The Waggon and Horses read it here – does show a cracking looking boozer with a dartboard, beermats and a decent beer garden.


Milton Derbyshire only has one pub – The Swan – read about it here, here and here but it has had Paul Young play there on numerous occasions,

a top covers band in its car park…

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and it was arguably the first pub in Britain to start selling Bass in the PPL era.

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It’s population is around 200 but it’s wet led boozer has some terrific views…

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including the iconic closed cooling towers of Willington.

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Martin’s village does have three more boozers – The Jolly Brewers, The White Horse and the Lion & Lamb – read about them here – but they have been reluctant to sell Burton’s finest beer.

(courtesy of RM)


It does have Milton Country Park but as it is almost Fenland then it is the flattest park in Britain whilst the ‘other’ Milton is set in rolling South Derbyshire countryside and definitely the gateway to the Peak District (not the gateway to Burton).

(more important advice from The Swan)

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UK Footgolf Association have chosen Milton as their East of England headquarters on the site of Milton Golf Club and it also has two churches and one primary school.

However, Milton is south Derbyshire has one other building of note aside from its pub – Milton Village Hall.

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One of the premier attractions in this hamlet that was featured in the Domesday Book as Berewite of Middletune (Hamlet of Middle Farmstead).

I think both villages are worthy of a visit for their pubs alone and it was great to pay my first visit to 29- The Swan Inn DE65 6EF since it reopened it doors and it was buzzing on a Saturday night.

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Even the former gaffer was there having a pint of Dark Drake (Dancing Duck) but I couldn’t get past the Bass.

It was in great nick, although so is every other beer I’ve had so far PPL.

(one more courtesy of RM)


So after a 2-2 draw on the Milton’s Got Talent judges panel, Simon Cowell (a renowned Bass drinker) had the decisive vote and plumped for the smaller hamlet in Derbyshire.

Despite an appeal from Martin, it has proved to be less successful than Manchester City’s slightly less expensive appeal and the decision is final – Milton wins.

5 thoughts on “Bass Clincher In Battle Of The Milton’s

  1. I think you could have squeezed the word Bass in a few more times. Was there any Bass on the fish menu? Who played Bass with that band? Is it possible to Bass-jump from those cooling towers? Not trying hard enough Beermat!…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As you needed to concentrate on drinking the Bass – it\s only right that you put your phone away and used library/RM photos instead…

    Although….I can see in the triple bass photo you were having difficulty deciding which one to drink first. 😉

    Nice Bass posters too – the ‘Only Bass Can Brew Bass’ is a bit ironic in the current age though….

    Liked by 1 person

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