Mr. Jolly (Colliers) Lives Next Door

“Look, just because my second name is Jolly doesn’t mean I have to be jolly all the f*****g time!”

If you know then you know; I reckon Ade Edmonson and Rik Mayall’s funniest episode of anything ever is… the classic Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door from 1988.

(picture courtesy of Amazon)

Part of “The Comic Strip Presents…” series this particular episode was outrageously funny and the line above is delivered in classic style from Peter Cook…who is Mr Jolly.

A quickfire summary is that Ade and Rik are two grubby escorts (Dreamytime Escorts) and Cook is a contract killer in the office upstairs who hacks people with a meat cleaver whilst listening to Tom Jones to drown out the noise.

Ade and Rik intercept a message from Mr Lovebucket (Peter Richardson) to ‘take out’ Nicholas Parsons and they proceed to have dinner with him before realising their error and Cook ends up ‘taking out’ (the real) Nicholas Parsons after meeting him in classic style.

[Nicholas Parsons knocks on Mr Jolly’s door] 

Mr. Jolly : [calling through door]  Who is it?

Nicholas Parsons : Nicholas Parsons.

Mr. Jolly : F**k off.

Nicholas Parsons : I said Nicholas Parsons.

Mr. Jolly : I know, f**k off. I don’t care if you’re Bob Monkhouse, f**k off.

Nicholas Parsons : Do you think I could use your telephone?

[Mr Jolly opens the door] 

Mr. Jolly : Do I have to spell it out? F-U…

Anyway, you haven’t tuned in for a transcript of the comic strip presents… but if you haven’t watched this programme then I suggest you spend the next four weeks of lockdown sourcing it and having a chuckle along.

And the prize for ‘most tenuous link in a pub blog 2020’ is in reach for me after I visited 609 – The Jolly Colliers DE75 7QL

It’s my inaugural visit to Heanor, which is an old school former mining town close to the Nottingham borders

(blue line of covid enforcers)

but definitely in Derbyshire so I managed to avoid any covid enforcers on my visit last week.

I say an old mining town but the last colliery to close was Ormonde in 1970 so it’s been half a century since any took place but, like Coalville, it has a gritty, friendly feel to it.

The sort of place that Mr Jolly (minus the psychopathic murderous tendencies of course) with his f***s aplenty would have fitted into.

I had to zap the covid app before the barmaid would let me through the door although I expect Ralph Jolly would have been more direct;

Nonetheless, my approach meant I got a warm welcome and with around ten punters in at 1.30 on a Wednesday it was a decent atmosphere.

The punters were all friendly with lots of eye contacts, head nodding and hellos and they had gone to town on Halloween with all kinds of gizmos everywhere.

Two big screens and a big air ambulance cheque on display mean it is a community pub and I suspect this gets quite lively, as there are plenty of chimney pots in the local vicinity of the Derby Road.

However, with the 6X turned round and a chat with a very friendly barmaid I ascertained there was no cask/bottled beer beyond cider or lager so I plumped for a pint of Birra Moretti.

As good as it was £4.50 was the sort of price I wasn’t expecting in Heanor but with pubs battling against the odds, I’d still rather pay that and sit in a boozer than pay less than £3 for a can from a supermarket and sit at home.

(lager lacings)

A top boozer with friendly staff and hopefully one that will emerge on December 4 in good form…if not I’ll be sending Peter Cook round to the Houses of Parliament for a chat and some Tom Jones!!!****

(***clearly, that last line was a joke and tongue in cheek)

10 thoughts on “Mr. Jolly (Colliers) Lives Next Door

  1. Birra Moretti? Are you Martin Taylor now? Suppose not as you drank it on the premises. Don’t recall that episode – must look it up. Obviously made a big impression on you! Heanor has 2 new Guide entries this year – v unusual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Blimey!!! They must be micros – I saw a coupe (both shut as too early in the day) when I was en route to the Colliers!!! Not even a bottle of Newcy Brown to appease the masses…I blame covid as they usually had one on I reckon.
      The best Comic strip along with a fistful of travellers cheques

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “and Cook is a contract killer in the office upstairs who hacks people with a meat cleaver whilst listening to Tom Jones to drown out the noise.”

    An updated Sweeney Todd then. 😉

    “Ade and Rik intercept a message from Mr Lovebucket (Peter Richardson) to ‘take out’ Nicholas Parsons and they proceed to have dinner with him before realising their error and Cook ends up ‘taking out’ (the real) Nicholas Parsons after meeting him in classic style.”

    And, as mentioned above, I’m assuming that Cook was to assure that Parsons become the ‘take out’ (as in dinner takeaway). 🙂

    “but if you haven’t watched this programme then I suggest you spend the next four weeks of lockdown sourcing it and having a chuckle along.”

    I see you’re already bored after only a day. 😉
    (but I will attempt to find it on the Interwebs)

    “And the prize for ‘most tenuous link in a pub blog 2020’ is in reach for me”

    Blimey! I’d say you’re ‘reaching’! 🙂

    “(blue line of covid enforcers)”

    Over here they’re called ‘river’s. Oh, wait, you mean the dotted lines!

    “so I managed to avoid any covid enforcers on my visit last week.”

    Are you being serious? As in Tier 2 stuff and the like?
    (it’s so hard to tell these days, what with how your government is reacting)

    “The sort of place that Mr Jolly (minus the psychopathic murderous tendencies of course) with his f***s aplenty would have fitted into.”

    Excellent! I’d fit right in as well. 🙂

    “although I expect Ralph Jolly would have been more direct;”

    Ya think? 🙂

    “However, with the 6X turned round”

    Ouch.

    “so I plumped for a pint of Birra Moretti.”

    That explains the glass in the photo above. 🙂

    “As good as it was £4.50 was the sort of price I wasn’t expecting in Heanor”

    Yikes!

    “but with pubs battling against the odds, I’d still rather pay that and sit in a boozer than pay less than £3 for a can from a supermarket and sit at home.”

    Depends. I’d happily have that can at home whilst chatting with my better half whilst she takes a bath. 😉

    “if not I’ll be sending Peter Cook round to the Houses of Parliament for a chat and some Tom Jones!!!”

    For a second I thought that was Cockney slang, but then twigged it referenced what you wrote at the start. 🙂
    (oh, and I’ll be your witness that it was meant in jest)

    Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice to see a review of a traditional old English pub! £4.50 for a pint of lager is a bit more than we’re used to paying. Looks like they had a good supply of Fairy Liquid though, judging by the pictures. We’re on Twitter as @DreamytimeE. If you look at our pinned tweet you can watch Mr Jolly Lives Next Door – follow us if you’re saucy!

    Liked by 1 person

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